A Year of Honest Blogging

Today, July 10th, marks the one year anniversary of New Figure Forward. 

     A year ago I was toying with an idea to share my story to help fill a void I felt was lacking in the weight loss world.  I had only seen the 'after ' pictures; I had never heard an 'after 'story. I thought perfection would be found in a pant size. Imagine my surprise when I felt confused and lost with my new figure.  My entire body changed. My face changed. The way the world looked at me changed.  The way I felt on the inside and the way I looked on the outside did not match. When you have only known yourself one way, it is terrifying to suddenly see yourself as a stranger.  This made for a frustrating couple of 'after' years.

     I missed my bigger body on occasion. I did not like being a size 28, but I knew how to be a size 28.  Even though I wanted to lose weight, I had still accepted my role in life to be the wall flowered fat girl. I knew how to be her. I knew how people would react to her. I was her my entire life.  Now, a size 12, I had to learn the new me and the world that came along with my new figure.

     Six years after my 125 pound weight loss I have a voice. I have confidence.  I know who I am in my new figure. I found myself.  I have had people tell me the transformation they have witnessed in me is amazing.  Those that know me best have watched me go from a shoulders hunched unhealthy girl to a proud woman with her head held high.  The confidence did not hit me when I put on my dream pant size; it happened years later.

     This blog started out as a way to show the other side to weight loss. The 'after' to the 'happily ever'.  The mental healing process, the self acceptance, and the willingness to relearn myself.  These were not topics I had heard anyone else talk about. No one complains about life after weight loss! Life after weight loss is perfect and everything just falls into place. Lies. All lies! I knew I was not the only person struggling in their 'ever after'.


     I was right. I was not the only person struggling.  Through my blog, I realized the struggle to love ourselves is not reserved for specific weights or sizes. Women, some with figures I used to long for, all struggle with this need to achieve perfection so that they can love themselves.  Self-love is not the prize at the end of the journey. Self-love can be had right now. Self-love will blossom when given the green light.
   

     Moving into my second year as a blogger, I am not the same woman that started writing a year ago. This journey has been immensely healing and liberating. New Figure Forward paved my purpose to inspire others to love themselves. I will continue to advocate for less Photoshop, a variety of shapes and sizes represented in media and advertising, and the belief that our bodies are perfect - stretch marks and all! This next year will be a big one for New Figure Forward. I may have a few surprises up my sleeve. 

     My words mean nothing without someone to read them. I thank all of my friends, those I know personally and those I have met online, and my family. Without the encouragement and support this project would not have gone far. Every email I receive, every like on a post, every comment made helps me to continue pushing forward and fight for change.  Thank you to my readers! This day would not have happened without you! 

(An extra special shout out to my husband. To a man who has encouraged me grow into my own. A man who has pushed me to be my best. A man who has never seen anything but a beautiful woman in front of him.  He edited every blog, took pictures, and inspired ideas.  Thank you husband for everything you have done for me, my self esteem, and my view on the world! I love you more than words can express!) 

Time Is Not My Excuse

A comment was made to me regarding my ability to make healthy meals and desserts. The gist of the comment was that I have more time than most others so I can make healthy foods.

Time is an excuse and it is not mine. I live a life like everyone else. I keep a calendar to keep everything straight. Time is not the reason why I cook healthy food; MAKING the time is why I cook healthy foods! Keeping the right foods stocked in my kitchen is the  reason why I eat healthy. 

MAKING the time to educate myself about how to care for my body and PCOS. MAKING the time to find recipes. MAKING the time to go to the grocery store. We all go to the store. I am just picking out different items. I shop at regular grocery stores and maybe once a month will go to a Whole Foods. It take me no more time to make a sugar free chic pea cookie dough pie than it would a boxed cake mix.

It is NOT that I have more time. It is making the time a PRIORITY!

If I make eating healthy foods look easy it is because it is easy! When I shop I buy healthy items. When I cook, I cook these healthy items that I got in the store with the same amount of time as everyone else. I do not use time as an excuse. <3

Empowered Woman on a Mission. Join me.

    I am excited, shocked, and humbled by the amount of fans my Facebook page has received in the past few days. In light of my New Figure Forward project picking up speed I figured I should take some time to explain who I am, where New Figure Forward came from, and what my mission is as a blogger and as a woman.  

    My name is Alyson, I am 31 years old, and I live in Las Vegas, Nevada.  My passion for figure equality comes from my own life long struggles with weight. I do not remember a time when I was not the biggest kid in my class. I was always the tallest and then I became the roundest. I quickly developed a distain for my own reflection. Up until a year ago I have always hated my body and I punished it in many ways.

     In elementary school, I was bullied, teased, and beat up. Middle school was the same. I was fat and miserable. I did not feel pretty. I started diet pills in 7th grade. I started binging and purging in 8th grade. By high school I was abusing myself in the worst ways.  I wrote about my high school experience here; My diary. 

    After high school my weight went up and down, over and over. By the time I was 25 I was 300 pounds! I lived with it. I was fashionable. I had friends. I had a job I loved. I was making 300 pounds work for me, until a moment in my bathroom changed my life forever. 

       **WARNING** I'm about to get seriously honest.  

     Everything changed for me the day I could not reach around myself. I sat on the toilet unable to reach around. I did what I had to do and then burst into tears. I actually cried myself to sleep on the bathroom floor that night.  I had lost the empowered female I had told myself I was. I was strong enough to be big. I was strong enough to not let the stares, comments, and almost needing to purchase an extra airplane seat make me feel bad about myself. I put on my happy face everyday. Deep down I knew I was lying to myself. I was not happy. I was miserable. I realized I was depressed and stuck - but then I had the realization that I didn't have to settle for this being my life. 

     October of 2007 I signed up for Weight Watchers and proceeded to lose 125 pounds over the next year and a half.  My entire life changed. Forever. I promised myself I would NEVER go back to 300 pounds and I have kept my weight off for 6 years now. The biggest challenges have come from being in a new body. One that did not end up like a super model. I had to learn who the new face in the mirror was. I did not know her, I had never seen her before. My problems were not solved at the end of my weight lose journey. No one told me I would actually have a whole new set of problems fall in my lap. 

     I still struggle with weight issues. I am still a food addict. I still see a fat girl in the mirror. However, I am also a runner and I enjoy cooking and eating healthy. I work everyday to repair the mental damage that simply became apart of my everyday thought process. I am not perfect. No one is. I have stretch marks. Everyone does. My thighs touch. So do the thighs of most people.  I created New Figure Forward as a place to be deeply honest about my body and my struggles at all of my weights.  I created my blog to be a place where women (and men) could come together and empower each other with honesty.  
     
     A passage from a pervious blog I wrote :" I will never be a super model and neither will anyone else. There is no such person. I like this reality; there is a lot less pressure realizing no one has a blemish free body. I am done playing dumb to a culture that assumes I don't know models and actresses are being Photoshopped.  I will not allow these fantasy images to influence the acceptance of my body.  I am human, I am normal, and my body is healthy and strong.  I choose to love myself, to value myself, and to cherish my body.  I will now be removing the "sucker" sticker off my forehead. No one can make me feel bad about myself anymore."

     And with that I took control over the images I see everyday. I do not read magazines any more. "Cosmo" went into the trash and does every month. I follow plus size models and other curvy empowered women on Facebook and Instagram. I love my body so much more when I see other bodies that look just like me. I look at these women and I think they are beautiful. I am beautiful. You are beautiful. I am ending my own self abuse and I hope to inspire others to do the same. Learning to love myself is not easy and everyday I have to keep working on it. I hope to encourage someone to do the same, to shut off the hateful inner monologue and embrace their body, however it maybe shaped!!

     

My weight loss gave me a new figure 

and I am pushing forward!!! 

Welcome to New Figure Forward!!