From One Bad Ass to Another

The Militant Baker  is a total bad ass babe.  She is a take no names, ball breaking, smash the scale body positive fighter. Her name is Jes and she is a woman on a mission - a freaking awesome in your face mission.

You might recognize her as the woman who took on Abercombie & Fitch back in May. She took a stand against what the CEO said regarding only wanting "the cool" people to wear his clothes.



She has been a Yahoo News headline story twice within the past few weeks.  She started an anti-bulling campaign that created a revolution.  She received over 800 entries, compiling them all on her website and Facebook page.

     Her in your face take no prisoners way of getting body positive messages into the main stream media is hard to miss.  She has been featured on CNN, TODAY, BBC, "People Magazine," "Time Magazine," "The Huffington Post," and more.  She is awesome and it is catching on.

Here is an small portion of a very meaningful blog she wrote called ""What the F*@K Does No Diet Talk Mean?":

"...what philosophy replaces the concept of always depriving your body in order to make it some false representation of health? It's called "Health at Every Size". It goes something like this:

"What is Health at Every Size?
1. Accepting and respecting the diversity of body shapes and sizes
2. Recognizing that health and well-being are multi-dimensional and that they include physical, social, spiritual, occupational. emotional, and intellectual aspects
3. Promoting all aspects of health and well-being for people of sizes
4. Promoting eating in a manner which balances individual nutrition needs, hunger, satiety, appetite, and pleasure
5. Promoting individually appropriate, enjoyable, life-enhancing physical activity, rather than exercise that is focused on a goal of weight loss"  Now, that just makes fucking sense, don't you think? "

I LOVE Jes. LOVE her message. I read her blog. I follow her Facebook page. I am a fan. Which is why when I posted my blog on her page as a total shot in the dark that she would look at it, I screamed and did a happy dance. 

Why? This happened....

Two things came from this moment.
1: A hero of mine complimented me. AWESOME.
2: The circle of empowered women is only getting bigger; the more we connect and support each others messages the more we will NOT be ignored.

So, yeah, I am one happy blogger.

Super Fun Night Fan

I was apprehensive about “Super Fun Night” with Rebel Wilson.  I am over plot lines that make the plus size character constantly make fun of themselves in order to distract attention from her size. The stereotype that fat equals funny is irritating. I procrastinated watching the show for fear of hating it. Rebel Wilson is adorable, sassy, intelligent, beautiful and I really did not want to see her play the fat fool.

I am caught up on the season thus far and even watch a few episodes twice. Rebel Wilson's character, Kimmy, is endearing and adorable. She's obviously smart, she's a lawyer (fact: Rebel WIlson has a law degree). Yet she is completely lost with herself, growing into womanhood.  I found that very relatable. We want to be comfortable in our skin and blend in with those around us. When we are still in the process of figuring out who we are we can look like asses along the journey.

     I love her girlfriends. They make me miss the bond I had with my close friends from high school.  My friends who would have stood in line with me to get Xena's autograph and remind me to not sport the awkward t-shirt to school. Kimmy's friends are loyal and accepting of each other and their quirks.  They help each other be the best versions of themselves they can be, often encouraging each other to break out from the fear and just do it. It is a nice break from the back stabbing woman characters I see so much of on TV.

     The more I watch the more I do not see the show as a way to poke fun at big girls. I see a woman coming into her own and discovering the woman she is becoming. She is growing out of “girldom” and into womanhood with a few bumps along the way. I think Rebel is a master at combining humor and honesty. Rebel created and writes the show.  She is aware of the fat jokes - she wrote them! I still struggle with humor as the main attribute to a plus size character but she is charming and it works.  The Kimmy character is not the way she is because she is fat; she is spunky, funny, and adorable because that the PERSONALITY she has been given. Fat does not make her funny. Her giggle, facial expressions, and nerdy ways make Kimmy the cute character she is. When I laugh at what she says or does I am not laughing because she is plus size, I'm laughing because the moment was funny. Put in a skinny woman and it still would have been funny.

   

 I have my fingers crossed that the show holds on and does not get canceled. It is refreshing to have women with different figures on a show. I welcome these girls into my living room every week. I am comfortable watching in my pj's, glasses, and with my green face mask. It has become my 30 minutes of pure girl time. I do not compare myself to these women and feel bad about myself. Instead, I laugh and remember the moment I did the same thing.  The show becomes about weight when all anyone can focus on is Rebel's weight. That is not a reflection of her, rather it is a reflection of society’s fear of a strong plus size woman who is not buying into the idea that beauty comes in one size propaganda.

Bonding Over Curves

     There are moments in life when we are given the opportunity to shake hands, hug, and exchange smiles with someone who has touched our lives in ways they may not know.  My opportunity came on Saturday. Tucked away in a small strip mall in Las Vegas I stood face to face with the woman who has contributed to my growing belief in my own sexiness.  Tess Munster has forever changed not only the way I see my body but also how I treat it.

   
     I'm not sure how I came across this beautiful, inspiring woman; the universe has a way of providing what we need when we need it. I follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and her blog. She is a plus size model, blogger, mom, and positive body activist.  Her pictures are stunning, her blog is honest, and her #effyourbeautystandards is empowering women of all sizes around the globe.  She has changed the lives of women, helping them to embrace their bodies and love themselves.  Tess is not perfect and has had her own struggles with body image issues and is always openly honest about how her life is not perfect. Confidence does not mean that an occasional self doubt thought does not sneak in. The modeling world is not easy, but the plus size modeling world is even more of a war zone.



     There is a misconception about weight loss - that once the weight is gone the life always dreamt about can now unfold.  Confidence will just ooze from the pores and everything life was missing will now magically appear. My experience was not like that at all.  I was, at times, more uncomfortable in my healthy body than I was in my heavy body.  I did not know how to feel comfortable in my skin. I was happy to have lost weight, improve my health, and eliminate obstacles I faced when I was heavier, but I struggled with self-confidence.  I mentioned in another blog post how my past experiences had made me a shy, anti-social person struggling for my mind and body to catch up with each other. Looking at the world through fat girl eyes didn't change when my waistline shrunk.

     I struggled to look at my body; the extra skin, the stretch marks, and the imperfections the body takes with it when it changes size. My insecurity in my body affected how I felt as a woman. Yes, I was smaller. Yes, I could wear all kinds of new clothes. Yes, I have a man that loves me. Yet, I was still waiting to feel sexy, to feel empowered in my new body, to rock what my mama gave me.  That was when the universe introduced me to Tess Munster.  She radiates confidence, sexy, and a love for her curves. I envied her confidence. I envied her sexiness.  I started to follow her on social media and I am happy I did! She has forever changed how I feel about myself.

Matching shoes! <3

 Tess has taught me to take pride in my body. Not be ashamed of my body. To feel sexy in my skin. Since following her I have taken more time in my appearance, slowing down to take pride in myself.  I have stopped evil eyeing my hips - now I embrace them and purchase skinny jeans without fear.  Tess has done for me what I hope to do for others; inspire confidence and self esteem. All bodies are beautiful and we can learn to stop being our own worst enemy and embrace our figures.  We deserve to showcase our love for ourselves.  It is OK to love yourself. It is even OK to rock a strut when we walk.





To Tess,
           Thank you for teaching me that sexy does not have a size requirement. When I look in the mirror, I hold my head higher because I am beautiful.  You are the reason why my oversized tee shirt stays folded in the drawer much more now. Modeling is not easy and it is appreciated by many women that you continue to break down walls and showcase how truly beautiful curves are! The conversation we had will have a special place in my memory bank. Thank you for your insights and optimistic outlook on life. You are a beautiful woman! 
                                                                          
       

My autographed photo is extra special too me. This is one of a series of photos with Tess in lingerie that helped me retire a few oversized, shapeless night wear. Not only do I thank you for helping me discover my own sexy, my husband does too.