Book Review: My Little Dish

Book Review:

My Little Dish 

The Story of Your Creation Through In Vitro Fertilization

     Recently I saw an announcement on Facebook from a friend about the publication of her first book.  Excitement for my friend rose as I explored her posted link to learn more about her book.  I knew immediately this was not just any book, this book was written from a special place in her heart. Author, Sari Dennis, the inspiring woman behind My Wellness Counts, shared a private part of herself in her book in hopes to reach out to other women and families who share in the miracle. Sari wrote My Little Dish: The Story of Your Creation Through In Vitro Fertilization, a charming story of how a beautiful baby came to be with the help of in vitro fertilization. 

     I have previously shared my own struggles with infertility due to PCOS. This endearing book touched my heart. The love and care Sari put into this book is captured in the beautiful story of how one little girl came to be. Sari makes it a point to generalize the process of in vitro fertilization in her story, encouraging parents to customize the story to their own experience. She includes pages for parents to write down the journey they experienced and to add the details of how their special baby came to be. 

     This book is more than just the story of how the baby came to be; it is also a teaching guide. Sari includes a glossary of terms to aid the explanation of the medical language. This special touch makes this book a beautiful family tool. As children grow and ask questions, this book grows with the child. The story can be told simplistically, and later, the story can be deeper and more personal as the child grows in maturity and ability to understand. 

     I highly recommend this book to people that has expanded their family using IVF.  This is a fabulous book, a guide with colorful illustrations to be personalized and treasured for years. Please visit Sari's website to obtain a copy of this book for yourself or for a friend or family member.  

Giveaway for Hope UPDATE: WINNER ANNOUNCED!

     Recently I opened up about my struggles with PCOS and infertility (click here to read the post). Neither of these topics is easy to talk about as it can feel like rubbing salt on a wound. However, since allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest I have had readers reach out to me to say thank you; Thank you for being a real woman behind this blog; Thank you for not sugar coating or pretending that my journey to find my healthy has been a walk in the park. When I opened up about my infertility, due to PCOS, I had a reader reach out to me and offer me a gift to help heal an aching heart.

     Crystal told me about her Esty shop, Fertility Gems (click here). She creates beautiful pieces specifically for women struggling with fertility and/or PCOS. She also sent me bracelet for PCOS. It represents holding onto hope - hope that there is always a way and to never give up. Her genuine thoughtfulness and compassion touched my heart. I share my stories to help other women know that they are not alone and Crystal reached out to say thank you.

   When my bracelet arrived it was lovingly packaged. 

This package was more than just the delivery of jewelry. It was the delivery of a hug from one woman to another. Crystal extends her love and compassion to women through her hand crafted jewelry and her work is beautiful.

     Although I have made peace with not having children, I still struggle with the symptoms of PCOS on a daily basis. PCOS is the reason I think about the food I eat, the importance of exercise, and the loving care I need to give my body and soul.  This beautiful bracelet is my reminder that I am not defined by PCOS. I have the power to allow it to make me or break me and I have learned over the years that I do not break easily.

     As women we do not break easily. We suffer in silence and go forward in our lives doing the best we can with smiles on our faces. Crystal and I would like to offer a token of hope to someone who needs to be reminded that PCOS and/or infertility does not define her self-worth. We have elected to give a beautiful hand crafted bracelet away! This giveaway comes from our hearts. It is                                                                                                     our way of extending the hug of support through                                                                                                       the mail.

The giveaway rules are simple:

1. Please Like both New Figure Forward (click here) AND Fertile Gems (click here) Facebook pages.

2. Like this post on New Figure Forward's Facebook page.
3.Please leave a comment under the posting of this blog on Facebook about what you love about yourself.

4. Tag a friend or family member that could use a hug through the mail and both you and your friend receive bonus entries.

That's all. Easy.

The contest will run for one week. The winner will be announced on Thursday, November 6th.

     Our goal is to help remind a deserving woman of the power of hope and never giving up. We cannot help everyone everywhere; however we can help someone somewhere. As one we are strong, as many we are unbreakable!

UPDATE: WINNER ANNOUNCED!
Thank you to all that entered. I was beyond moved by the stories that where shared with me. I wish I could make everyone a winner, but alas I cannot. HOWEVER, I CAN offer my readers a special discount if you would like to purchase this or other pieces of Crystal's work. Click here to be sent to the Esty store. At check out enter code: NFF5OFF and receive $5 off your purchase. 

Congratulations Krystal Earl McDonald!! You are the winner. Please private message me with your mailing information within 24 hours. 

Two Words That Are A Punch in the Gut. Every Time.

     

Not easy to write about. At all. 

      I had no intention of ever writing on the topic. It felt too personal and embarrassing. However, recently I have felt the universe pushing me expose a tender secret. Having already shared so much of myself with my readers, what is one more skeleton ripped out of my closet. I share because I know I am not alone and connecting with others who feel the same is what I need to truly heal.

     I have already spoken about having PCOS and the side effects. I have not spoken about the infertility part of PCOS. I have not shared what it feels like to be a broken woman.  I feel broken, like my box did not come with all the parts. There is a part of womanhood I will never experience and I admit I am jealous of those who do. Jealous so much that when someone tells me they are pregnant or I see a post on Facebook it feels like a punch to the gut; like many, many punches to the gut by an angry boxer going for blood.

     My husband has a 9 year old son from a previous marriage whom I have the joy of calling my son. I do get to be a mom and I love my step-son with all my heart but it's just not the same. I did not get to do the baby part; my step-son was 3 when I came in to the picture. A short time ago my husband and I came to terms with not having a baby together. A year or two ago my husband and I worked with fertility doctors and quickly found ourselves about to lose our savings and all future savings for a decade or two to cover the cost of a bunch of maybes. I never cried more in my life. I lost 125 pounds in hopes of fixing myself. I quit smoking. I made exercise a part of my daily life. Only to have it feels like it was all for nothing. Those months were extremely difficult for me, for us. My husband and I did come out on the other side, tear free and confident in our choice to no longer pursue a baby. It is a choice that I am content with. 97% of the time.

     We have lists of reasons why we tell ourselves we are ok with our situation. In an emergency we have been known to watch YouTube videos of screaming babies to help turn off the "I want a baby" feeling.  It works. I am able to swallow the empty feeling and continue on; I have no choice, and I refuse to be a victim of my situation. Recently, however, the universe has been making my ability to not think about babies very difficult. Facebook friends with adorable baby pictures, a pregnancy announcement from a family member, then several from friends. Back to back to back. It overwhelmed me and a few nights ago I found myself in uncontrollable tears.  I just could not stay strong any longer.

     I do not think about babies on a regular basis. It is not at the forefront of my thoughts, until someone tells me they are pregnant, and then the boxer comes out gunning for me. I have developed "happy baby face".  I know what to say and I might even jump up and down if the occasion calls for it. I am good at being excited for someone else. The only person who sees what I am truly feeling is my husband, who is always stronger than I with baby announcements. I do not begrudge my loved ones the joy of being pregnant, but sometimes I wish they could understand what it is like to know I will never get to say those words. No one will ever jump up and down for me and I'll never know that bond. 

My dog, Marty, is my heart. 

     The boxer leaves me alone most days, to rest in his corner, waiting for someone to announce a baby, and only then do I feel that punch in the gut. Only then do I scramble to YouTube to watch a video of a tantrum. Only then do I shed a few tears in private. Only then do I question all the rational choices I have made myself make many times now. I will not have a baby. I will be the best damn step-mom I can be. My husband loves me regardless. I will always baby talk to my dogs. I will spoil my family because they are my world. One day it will just be my husband and I and I am ok with that. Most days. 

     I cherish the time I have with my step-son, he and I are very close. I am Mom to him. I volunteer in his classroom, I cheer for him at soccer games, and use my spit on a tissue to get the schmutz off his face. I treat him no different than I would my own. I am blessed to have my family and I love them dearly. 

     I share this with you, my readers, because I know I am not alone and a reminder helps every now and then. If I am your reminder that you are not alone, I hope I help. When a woman cries for the loss of what never was, she does not cry alone. We are women and we are incredible. You are incredible. I am incredible. My, our, inability to create life does not take away from the love we show those around us. We matter to someone!